Here we go round the prickly pear...

A pointless day
2005-07-23 + 12:30 a.m.

Oh God oh god oh god.
I just took this online test and it says that I have an alcohol problem. Nevermind that it's a few inches away from a sidebar adverstising Heidi Klum screensavers, I don't know how to operate a website, this person does and therefore must be much more intelligent than I, and I tend to listen to people who are more intelligent than me. The one exeception to the rule is that time I played Scrabble with the Unabomber and he insisted that "Quixfogger" was a word. I called the dictionary rule in that one and you know what? It's a word. Spanked my ass on that one.
I don't really think that I do though. It's been, what, 24 hours since I've been to the bar and I'm not feeling any of these "withdrawl" symptoms that he keeps going on about. I thought I saw bugs on the wall and I was like, uhho, the DT's, until I remembered that I live in a remarkably filthy apartment. So we're cool there. I figure there's at least a 67% chance that they were real bugs. Nor am I shaking any more that the usual amount.
Goddamnit. I wish there was a test, like a pregnancy test or something, that you could pee on a little stick and it would tell you if you've got the drunks. Instead of a little pink dot for yes there could be a little Miller logo, or something. That would get the point across. Plus be hilarious at the same time. I'd laugh, then check myself into the BF clinic, laughing and holding that drunk test the whole time. I like to laugh.
So I'm thinking of starting my own homemade soap business (that, in case you didn't notice, was a 180 degree subject change). The place I used to get my soap at closed down (something to do with fetal tissue showing up in the rosemary-lavender batch or something) so I thought, why not? Denton needs it's soap people, the hippies aren't getting any cleaner, in fact they seem to be becoming filthy at an alarming and baffling rate. I could mix up some unlikely combinations, but always have to keep in mind the dangers of washing oneself "down there" with certain substances. I don't think anyone has forgotten the "Tumeric and Pepper Flakes" combination that Hipsoap Inc. came out with last year and immediately recalled. At least, I haven't.
My back hurts. I called in sick to work today and have done nothing. At all. I mean, nothing. Really. I have taken two hot baths and eaten cassarole. I mean, I could have done that at work, not the bath part but I could have brought some cassarole in a Tupper. Then it would have been like being at home but slightly more annoying and it would have smelled less like cat urine. And I wouldn't have spent most of the day listening to love songs and crying in the corner. I mean, I cry in the corner at work all the time but they don't allow music.
I don't want to type anymore.

getting ready for the date